Air hostess or warden?

The Air France flight from Manchester to Paris was delightful, especially as both the airports were virtually deserted (Saturday afternoon is a good time to fly said the shop assistant in Boots) and the plane was almost empty. So little'un could stretch out across 2 seats and get some zzzz's whilst we made our way across London and the Channel. Wait was equally relaxed in CDG and even the man in the cafe was happy for me to use his microwave to warm the quiche I'd made the night before.

The flight to Mauritius was delayed for 30 mins and it didn't get off to a good start when they didn't allow parents and children on first, so we had to join the scrum at the gate. Fortunately little'un took it in his stride. Next problem came when the stewardess said that little'un was too big for the cot! Well perhaps a kg over the limit but he wouldn't mind if his legs stuck out. There was plenty of room in front of our seats so perhaps he could sleep on the floor. A definite non, non. Not because of the possibility of his bouncing if we hit severe turbulence but the plastic pipe on the emergency oxygen supply was not long enough to reach the floor! Two things, the probability of those yellow cups descending, as shown in the pre-flight demonstration, is virtually nil (I have met someone who has seen them but that was due to the pilot decompressing on purpose to quell and crazy passenger!). The second, is that there is a good chance that parents, seeing their child gasping for air would pick them up off the floor. Anyway, the hostess recited the length of plastic pipe excuse. In addition to the lack of smiles, no food was offered for the baby and the toy which was promised in the blurb on the website didn't materialise. In the night I went to get some water and met our warden guarding the kitchen. Yes? she remarked, as though I was trying the sneak off the plane, and handed me some water .... lucky I didn't ask for milk, her face would have surely curdled it. The steward on our side of the plane wasn't much happier either, seemed to think that I was in the way whilst I waited for the baby changing room.

We arrived OK, thankful to our Air Mauritius wardens for keeping us safe, but I did miss the smiles that go to make a long flight more bearable.